Day 0
1 year ago
Monday, December 14, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Sobering thoughts
I remember the first time I realized that a boy really was stronger than I was. I know it sounds so silly, but I was always taller and stronger and bigger than any of the guys I knew. And I never encountered a situation that proved otherwise. Until one day I was at work and had happened to enter the elevator the same time as a guy who I worked with. He was goofing around and when I tried to leave the elevator he grabbed my wrist. I immediately pulled at my hand to get it free and was shocked by the realization that I couldn't get free. It wasn't a threatening situation at all, but I remember being so stunned to be face to face with my own weakness. The guy and I were about the same size so I assumed that if push came to shove I could take him. Again, it was all lighthearted horsing around but I clearly remember the shiver of fear that sliced through me at the thought that had this been another situation or another guy with darker intents, my own efforts would not be able to save me. He was much stronger than I was, and my efforts were like a gnat's mere annoyances. Amidst the playing around, I was sobered.
This past month has felt like that moment years ago. Life is full of much fun and playing around, but there's a thin stream just under the surface of incidents cropping up here and there that remind me of my own frailty. Two friends receiving bad reports from the doctor, another friend hospitalized, a relative in peril, the sincere year plus long efforts at job hunting that have turned up nothing for qualified friends who really need employment, the death of a friend's relative, and yet another friend with a parent given mere months to live.
I often say that I want God to be glorified in my life. But often what I really mean is that I want God to be glorified in my successful life. What if He wants to take glory from how I would respond in any of the above given situations. Will I still sing as loud if I suffer physically, in relationships, or my finances? Will I be like my heroes Shadrach, Meschach and Abednego and say that I know that my God has the power to deliver me, but even if He does not (that phrase ALWAYS gives me goosebumps) I'm still going to worship only Him?
Yes I've faced challenges in my life, and sickness and death have touched me very close to home, but I've not faced any of the situations my friends and acquaintances are experiencing. I'm not asking for one by any means, and I don't think that's the only way I can honor God. However it does make me reevaluate how I am responding to the minor trials I am facing right now. Am I hoping to get through this time to the next mountain top, or am I concentrating on how I can glorify God now, in whatever situation I am in? When faced with the awareness of my own frailty do I still struggle and beat the air, or do I bow my knee and worship the God who is truly worthy of my allegiance. NOT because it's my duty to worship despite the x, y, and z I have to suffer through. But because He is a good God who has richly blessed my life with innumerable blessings and is worthy of my praise in the midst of abundance and "hardships" that in the face of eternity are so very insignificant. Perhaps I should rejoice in trials, allowing my sufferings to sober me and bring light to the frailty and brevity of my life; while magnifying the greatness of my eternal, all powerful, omniscient God.
This past month has felt like that moment years ago. Life is full of much fun and playing around, but there's a thin stream just under the surface of incidents cropping up here and there that remind me of my own frailty. Two friends receiving bad reports from the doctor, another friend hospitalized, a relative in peril, the sincere year plus long efforts at job hunting that have turned up nothing for qualified friends who really need employment, the death of a friend's relative, and yet another friend with a parent given mere months to live.
I often say that I want God to be glorified in my life. But often what I really mean is that I want God to be glorified in my successful life. What if He wants to take glory from how I would respond in any of the above given situations. Will I still sing as loud if I suffer physically, in relationships, or my finances? Will I be like my heroes Shadrach, Meschach and Abednego and say that I know that my God has the power to deliver me, but even if He does not (that phrase ALWAYS gives me goosebumps) I'm still going to worship only Him?
Yes I've faced challenges in my life, and sickness and death have touched me very close to home, but I've not faced any of the situations my friends and acquaintances are experiencing. I'm not asking for one by any means, and I don't think that's the only way I can honor God. However it does make me reevaluate how I am responding to the minor trials I am facing right now. Am I hoping to get through this time to the next mountain top, or am I concentrating on how I can glorify God now, in whatever situation I am in? When faced with the awareness of my own frailty do I still struggle and beat the air, or do I bow my knee and worship the God who is truly worthy of my allegiance. NOT because it's my duty to worship despite the x, y, and z I have to suffer through. But because He is a good God who has richly blessed my life with innumerable blessings and is worthy of my praise in the midst of abundance and "hardships" that in the face of eternity are so very insignificant. Perhaps I should rejoice in trials, allowing my sufferings to sober me and bring light to the frailty and brevity of my life; while magnifying the greatness of my eternal, all powerful, omniscient God.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Newbie
For the first time in a VERY long time, I'm finding myself in a completely new circle of people. As in I have never seen or heard or facebooked with or read the blog of or met the daughter/friend/sister of or known in any other regard anyone else in this group. I am engaging in the delicate dance of building relationships with people I literally know nothing about.
It's strange, very strange.
While discussing various issues I find myself wanting to raise the much more relevant question who are you? I only have exterior clues to help answer my question. But a person is much more than his or her outward appearance. So I find myself listening intently to body language, intonation and most importantly to things that are not said. I feel like it's a puzzle, trying to piece together who these people are. A month from now will we be best friends laughing at my oh so crazy first impressions? Or years from now will we pass each other in the grocery store and do the whole "I know that face from somewhere" thing. Who knows.
As I wonder who these people REALLY are, I have the opportunity to ask the same questions of myself. Who am I? Who am I choosing to be with them? Yes, yes, we should all be authentic and genuine, but let's be honest everyone does not need to know the entire truth of who we all are on the first date! So as I'm gauging the responses of others, I'm watching my own as well. Sometimes I'd love to just be my unfiltered self without thinking so much about how much of all of me I want to show. Then again filtering isn't always a bad thing :)
I have the opportunity to get to know lots of new people all the time, but rarely so many new folks all at once. It's good to be reminded of what it's like to be the newbie. And it's good to get the opportunity to have to listen so hard to who people are.
It's strange, very strange.
While discussing various issues I find myself wanting to raise the much more relevant question who are you? I only have exterior clues to help answer my question. But a person is much more than his or her outward appearance. So I find myself listening intently to body language, intonation and most importantly to things that are not said. I feel like it's a puzzle, trying to piece together who these people are. A month from now will we be best friends laughing at my oh so crazy first impressions? Or years from now will we pass each other in the grocery store and do the whole "I know that face from somewhere" thing. Who knows.
As I wonder who these people REALLY are, I have the opportunity to ask the same questions of myself. Who am I? Who am I choosing to be with them? Yes, yes, we should all be authentic and genuine, but let's be honest everyone does not need to know the entire truth of who we all are on the first date! So as I'm gauging the responses of others, I'm watching my own as well. Sometimes I'd love to just be my unfiltered self without thinking so much about how much of all of me I want to show. Then again filtering isn't always a bad thing :)
I have the opportunity to get to know lots of new people all the time, but rarely so many new folks all at once. It's good to be reminded of what it's like to be the newbie. And it's good to get the opportunity to have to listen so hard to who people are.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Wrestling
...Sometimes God asks us to wrestle with the unfamiliar until it becomes our new familiar...
-Lisa T. Bergren
Breathe
-Lisa T. Bergren
Breathe
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Cooking Therapy
There are several ways to deal with bad days, and this time my mode of therapy was quite productive. I cooked up some FABULOUS dishes, and although I don't have photos, I should not keep these great recipes to myself!
I got a yummy recipe for nutritous, easy, homemade sausage here. I've been thinking lately that perhaps healthy food can taste good too ( I know, who would've thought) and I've been making an effort to try more recipes in line with the "whole foods" concept. I've enjoyed checking out this blog, and perhaps I'll get some more recipes from there.
For the first time ever I bought a pumpkin and cooked a pie and some AMAZING pumpkin bread from scratch (even my incredibly healthy dad had to go for seconds, and he declared it a new addition to our Thanksgiving Day menu....high praise friends :). It took a bit of time to bake the pumpkin's insides, but it was worth it to get some nutritious pumpkin pulp and cheaper too!
I also struck pure gold with this delightful recipe for a chicken pumpkin stew/curry. I just knew that a vegetable as big and rich in color as the pumpkin had to be good for more than just it's seeds and pies. I wanted to make a non-sweet main dish as well, and all I have to say is sweet mother of pearl, this recipe will become a family staple.
I got a yummy recipe for nutritous, easy, homemade sausage here. I've been thinking lately that perhaps healthy food can taste good too ( I know, who would've thought) and I've been making an effort to try more recipes in line with the "whole foods" concept. I've enjoyed checking out this blog, and perhaps I'll get some more recipes from there.
For the first time ever I bought a pumpkin and cooked a pie and some AMAZING pumpkin bread from scratch (even my incredibly healthy dad had to go for seconds, and he declared it a new addition to our Thanksgiving Day menu....high praise friends :). It took a bit of time to bake the pumpkin's insides, but it was worth it to get some nutritious pumpkin pulp and cheaper too!
I also struck pure gold with this delightful recipe for a chicken pumpkin stew/curry. I just knew that a vegetable as big and rich in color as the pumpkin had to be good for more than just it's seeds and pies. I wanted to make a non-sweet main dish as well, and all I have to say is sweet mother of pearl, this recipe will become a family staple.
I hope someone gives at least one of these recipes a try. If you do, let me know how it turns out!
Monday, October 26, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Desperation vs. Complacency
While talking with some friends who have also lived overseas and have helped me walk through this first hurdle in transitioning I realized something:
I feel good.
I mean REALLY good.
I don't have weekly breakdowns.
I haven't shut down and emotionally retreated.
I'm not painfully lonely.
I can't remember the last time I broke down and cried (at least a weekly occurrence overseas).
I feel safe, secure, and loved.
I am happy and I have peace......ALL the time.
It is weird to feel so good for so long.
I'm not complaining AT ALL, just saying that I'm not used to this.
But it feels very good.
At the same time I was realizing how great I felt, I noticed that it had been a while since I'd had some quality time with God. I was shocked at the dichotomy. I still felt great inside, I was experiencing joy and peace, yet I wasn't replenishing my roots. Overseas, had I dared attempt the same thing I would've been a basket case in no time flat. Therein lies the danger. Because I don't "feel" the same desperation, it's easy to go longer without good connection with the Father. Complacency can creep in so quickly without anything on the outside looking different at all.
Scary.
I can't say that I miss the feeling of constant brokenness and desperation, but I most certainly miss most of the results of what it did in my life (I say most, because not everything was pretty :D).
This past week was a wake up call for me. I am so thankful for the ease of life I am currently experiencing. However, I don't ever want to take the bait of letting my circumstances define my intimacy with the Father. He is worthy of so much more from me; in the good times just as much (if not more so) as the desperate days.
I feel good.
I mean REALLY good.
I don't have weekly breakdowns.
I haven't shut down and emotionally retreated.
I'm not painfully lonely.
I can't remember the last time I broke down and cried (at least a weekly occurrence overseas).
I feel safe, secure, and loved.
I am happy and I have peace......ALL the time.
It is weird to feel so good for so long.
I'm not complaining AT ALL, just saying that I'm not used to this.
But it feels very good.
At the same time I was realizing how great I felt, I noticed that it had been a while since I'd had some quality time with God. I was shocked at the dichotomy. I still felt great inside, I was experiencing joy and peace, yet I wasn't replenishing my roots. Overseas, had I dared attempt the same thing I would've been a basket case in no time flat. Therein lies the danger. Because I don't "feel" the same desperation, it's easy to go longer without good connection with the Father. Complacency can creep in so quickly without anything on the outside looking different at all.
Scary.
I can't say that I miss the feeling of constant brokenness and desperation, but I most certainly miss most of the results of what it did in my life (I say most, because not everything was pretty :D).
This past week was a wake up call for me. I am so thankful for the ease of life I am currently experiencing. However, I don't ever want to take the bait of letting my circumstances define my intimacy with the Father. He is worthy of so much more from me; in the good times just as much (if not more so) as the desperate days.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
I have.....nothing???
So this starting from scratch business is taking a little bit longer than I thought. I'll go through a patch where I feel normal then something little will trigger an "I have nothing moment." Yes I am quite ashamed to say those words have crossed my mind and lips. I got really convicted the last time I wanted to vent. I felt God say, Really? Nothing? No home, no house, no car, no friends, no family, no love, no peace of mind, no good health, no joy, no open doors. Yep that's a whole lot of nothing right there! Yes, there are areas where I feel that I am JUST now getting back to the same footing I was on two and a half years ago. And yes I feel alarmed at realizing little things like wow, the weather is changing, I have one pair of pants. That might be a problem :) But truly, rebuilding a life takes time. I am constantly reminding myself that life is lived in years. While much of my initial re-entry shock is over, it will probably still take years for me to really find my footing/groove/rhythm again. Just like it took a year and a half before I found a niche overseas, it may take the same time or longer here. I hate feeling so melodramatic about this whole transition thing. I feel like I should be "over all that" now. It's been 6 months already. I just need to pick myself up, brush the dust off and get on with it. Ha, if only it worked that way right? I distinctly remember a counselor I saw in May telling me to be patient and wait for things to happen. I smiled at her thinking she was SO clueless. I had just bared my soul to her, I'd spent a week with people who understood my shoes, I would be good to go in a few days; a week tops. Ha. Ha Ha. Yeeeeaaaaaah right.
I have a "grateful wall" I keep in my room. A place where I jot down things I'm thankful for, when I feel an abundance of gratitude. Perhaps the real trick though is to write down what I'm grateful for in the "I have nothing moments." It's easy to do anything when you feel like it; but far more stretching to do something even when the feelings are not there.
I have a "grateful wall" I keep in my room. A place where I jot down things I'm thankful for, when I feel an abundance of gratitude. Perhaps the real trick though is to write down what I'm grateful for in the "I have nothing moments." It's easy to do anything when you feel like it; but far more stretching to do something even when the feelings are not there.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Achieving Goals
Me September 2008
A while back I decided that I would give myself the birthday present of being at my ideal weight by my 30th birthday (read: I was finally going to get my weight under control and 30 seemed like a far enough away deadline!). Welllll I got a little head start on that last year. My intermediate goal was to lose 50lbs by my 29th birthday. I came in a little short at 47.08, but I am still pretty darn proud of myself! I have quite a ways to go to get to my ultimate goal of being in the best shape of my life next year, but it is very sweet to see the fruits of many invisible workouts in such a visible way!
Me September 2009As I persevere on, I'd love any tips or advice YOU may have on making health goals into reality.
The sign is up....
....Let the celebration begin!
My family is what I like to call special, and we have our own brand of quirkiness; some things I love and other things just make me wonder about us...... However in the midst of the craziness there are traditions that I hold sacred. One of my favorite traditions is that every year for every birthday my Dad makes a sign for the celebrant. Once the sign goes up, the birthday celebration can begin. It's sweet to experience such simple traditions again at home with my family!
Monday, September 14, 2009
6 months ago today...
I was tired after a very eventful 24 hours of traveling. However I was VERY excited about getting to see my sister again, and this time we wouldn't have to say good-bye in a week for another 6 months. I was back to stay!
It's been an eventful six months in the USA, but I can honestly say I am glad to be home. I love living with my family, I enjoy getting to keep up with friends, and God has started me on yet another crazy adventure. Who could ask for anything more?
It's been an eventful six months in the USA, but I can honestly say I am glad to be home. I love living with my family, I enjoy getting to keep up with friends, and God has started me on yet another crazy adventure. Who could ask for anything more?
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Peep Game
It's time for me to be a big sister for a moment.
My brother just released his mixtape CD, and I couldn't be more proud. Not just of his musical talent (of which there is plenty), but more so of the lifestyle that inspired it. Even if hip hop or rap isn't your thing, take a look here anyway. I bet you know someone who would enjoy Still Gon Praise or Here I Am almost as much as I do.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Can You Feel It?
It's not getting quite as hot.
There is a crispness to the dusk and dawn air.
Sunset is coming just a wee bit earlier.
Fall is around the corner friends! I couldn't be happier to experience my first Texas fall in 2 years!!!
There is a crispness to the dusk and dawn air.
Sunset is coming just a wee bit earlier.
Fall is around the corner friends! I couldn't be happier to experience my first Texas fall in 2 years!!!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Father forgive me, for I have sinned
I indulged in a warm nutty caramel brownie.
*Sigh* being a Pampered Chef consultant is hard but somebody has to try out the recipes :)
Friday, August 14, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
The Quest for a Giant Juicy Peach
Since first beginning my travels overseas 5 years ago, this has been my first summer back in America. I've enjoyed much about it (can we say AMEN to air conditioning everywhere). However one thing I've longed for and missed are the fresh fruits and vegetables. Especially the fruit.
Overseas I would anticipate the first sighting of summer fruit. Watermelons, peaches, cherries, strawberries, apricots, and more. I loved waiting through the initial batches that would appear on market stands. Oh it was tempting to give in and buy the first decent batch of strawberries I saw, but I knew that if I waited, sweeter rewards would be found and they would be well worth the lower price. Then there would be the sampling of different vendors to see who had the best fruit.
Victory was sweet when I would make the delightful discovery of THE best peach of the season. After one taste my taste buds would burst with flavor, my teeth would sink into the perfect texture, and I couldn't stop (nor would I want to) the juice as it would run down my cheeks.
This year I made the mistake of anticipating summer with the same fervor.
I stalked weekly ads to see who had fruit on sale, looking for THAT taste.
No luck.
Then I thought that maybe the fruit was not on sale. So I gulped, dug deep and even purchased items not on sale.
Still no luck.
Then I stepped it up and moved from the discount grocery stores to the fancy schmancy ones, even tried the organic stuff. I found some slightly better fruit, even scored a home run with the watermelons, but still no peach that made the mark. I even had a friend willingly share with me her stash of prime peaches from a state well known for their crop. It was definitely better than what I'd had, but the taste I was missing eluded me.
I finally realized that I wasn't wanting just the taste of a wonderful peach, but I was really wanting to once again taste a memory. The memory of exploring the outdoor markets. The memory of gazing out my window at the sea and mountains. The memory of my overseas home. But I had to realize just like when I returned "home" to America and found that the place in my memory no longer existed, so I have to see that my overseas "home" no longer exists. Oh yes the apartment is still there and I can bet the outdoor market is too, but the space in time I occupied is no longer there. New tenants have likely taken residence. Names and faces in the neighborhood have changed.
So I find myself once again straddling between two worlds. I can't go back to what was, and I'm still struggling to fully live in what is. I've had some recent hope lately about a career and calling, but things never happen as quickly as I'd like them to. So I'm waiting and hoping and anticipating what is to come, while still just trying to live one day at a time. It's not easy, but I know that I'm not walking this road alone.
I can't continue to search for the perfect peach. It doesn't exist, not here anyway. That place in time is long gone. But you know, I had a peach this morning that wasn't too bad. I bet if I cut it up with the right ingredients it would make a delightful peach crisp. I might even have a glass of lemonade to go with it!
Overseas I would anticipate the first sighting of summer fruit. Watermelons, peaches, cherries, strawberries, apricots, and more. I loved waiting through the initial batches that would appear on market stands. Oh it was tempting to give in and buy the first decent batch of strawberries I saw, but I knew that if I waited, sweeter rewards would be found and they would be well worth the lower price. Then there would be the sampling of different vendors to see who had the best fruit.
Victory was sweet when I would make the delightful discovery of THE best peach of the season. After one taste my taste buds would burst with flavor, my teeth would sink into the perfect texture, and I couldn't stop (nor would I want to) the juice as it would run down my cheeks.
This year I made the mistake of anticipating summer with the same fervor.
I stalked weekly ads to see who had fruit on sale, looking for THAT taste.
No luck.
Then I thought that maybe the fruit was not on sale. So I gulped, dug deep and even purchased items not on sale.
Still no luck.
Then I stepped it up and moved from the discount grocery stores to the fancy schmancy ones, even tried the organic stuff. I found some slightly better fruit, even scored a home run with the watermelons, but still no peach that made the mark. I even had a friend willingly share with me her stash of prime peaches from a state well known for their crop. It was definitely better than what I'd had, but the taste I was missing eluded me.
I finally realized that I wasn't wanting just the taste of a wonderful peach, but I was really wanting to once again taste a memory. The memory of exploring the outdoor markets. The memory of gazing out my window at the sea and mountains. The memory of my overseas home. But I had to realize just like when I returned "home" to America and found that the place in my memory no longer existed, so I have to see that my overseas "home" no longer exists. Oh yes the apartment is still there and I can bet the outdoor market is too, but the space in time I occupied is no longer there. New tenants have likely taken residence. Names and faces in the neighborhood have changed.
So I find myself once again straddling between two worlds. I can't go back to what was, and I'm still struggling to fully live in what is. I've had some recent hope lately about a career and calling, but things never happen as quickly as I'd like them to. So I'm waiting and hoping and anticipating what is to come, while still just trying to live one day at a time. It's not easy, but I know that I'm not walking this road alone.
I can't continue to search for the perfect peach. It doesn't exist, not here anyway. That place in time is long gone. But you know, I had a peach this morning that wasn't too bad. I bet if I cut it up with the right ingredients it would make a delightful peach crisp. I might even have a glass of lemonade to go with it!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Amazed by Him!
Can I say that one of the things I love about being back is that I get to experience all of the everydayness of life. I don't get the highlights reel version of things oh, he got a new car, or she got a new job, but I get to walk through the decision making process with friends and family together. The good, bad, and ugly details, I'm there to experience it all, and I love it!
Well this morning I was enjoying some ordinary everydayness with my sister. We had just come from running errands and as we are pulling up onto our street, we see the mail man. Slightly embarrassed, I shared my foolish fantasy with her of hoping for God to send me a random check in the mail. She encouraged me that stuff like that still happens, and I laughed it off. Yes friends, this is going where you think it is. As we unloaded the car she went to the mail box and said that I had most of the mail today. I was expecting baby shower invites, wedding shower invites, or those lovely offers of 0% interest on balance transfers until 2010. Wouldn't you know that I received not one but TWO handwritten notes from friends. And yes, one of them had a check in it.
Tears sprung to my eyes at God's faithfulness and goodness.
God has done an AMAZING job of providing for me during this period of transition. I am SO grateful for the paying gigs He has brought my way. But as I start another month of no steady employment despite my earnest searching, I confess some doubt and worry.............okay, okay, and anxiety attacks that lead to late night chocolate ice cream too. Sooo you can imagine how VERY thankful I am to God's generosity to encourage me on this day especially RIGHT after I had just laughed off my silly dreams. And I had my sister there to witness the moment!
It is true friends, God is good. He does not disappoint.
Thank you God for knowing me and providing for me.
Thank you to my incredible friends who blessed me so generously today. You know who you are!
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.
Psalm 42:5
Well this morning I was enjoying some ordinary everydayness with my sister. We had just come from running errands and as we are pulling up onto our street, we see the mail man. Slightly embarrassed, I shared my foolish fantasy with her of hoping for God to send me a random check in the mail. She encouraged me that stuff like that still happens, and I laughed it off. Yes friends, this is going where you think it is. As we unloaded the car she went to the mail box and said that I had most of the mail today. I was expecting baby shower invites, wedding shower invites, or those lovely offers of 0% interest on balance transfers until 2010. Wouldn't you know that I received not one but TWO handwritten notes from friends. And yes, one of them had a check in it.
Tears sprung to my eyes at God's faithfulness and goodness.
God has done an AMAZING job of providing for me during this period of transition. I am SO grateful for the paying gigs He has brought my way. But as I start another month of no steady employment despite my earnest searching, I confess some doubt and worry.............okay, okay, and anxiety attacks that lead to late night chocolate ice cream too. Sooo you can imagine how VERY thankful I am to God's generosity to encourage me on this day especially RIGHT after I had just laughed off my silly dreams. And I had my sister there to witness the moment!
It is true friends, God is good. He does not disappoint.
Thank you God for knowing me and providing for me.
Thank you to my incredible friends who blessed me so generously today. You know who you are!
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.
Psalm 42:5
Friday, June 26, 2009
Yummmeee!
So here's another quick and tasty recipe that's just bursting with flavor!
Daal (red lentils)
Ingredients:
1 cup red lentils
1 slice ginger, 1 inch piece, peeled
1/4 teaspoon ground turmeric
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper, or to taste
1. Soak the lentils in water for at least one hour.
2. Rinse the lentils and place them in the pot with all the spices and the ginger. Cover with about one inch of water (up to your first knuckle, if you stick your finger in the pot, just until it touches the surface of the lentils).
3. Bring to a boil, skimming off any foam.
4. Reduce the heat and stir occaisionally until the beans are soft and soupy.
This is a DELIGHTFUL meal, that's tasty with flat bread (naan) or rice. It also packs an amazing 9 grams of protein per 1/2 cup serving....not bad at all! Best of all, lentils are so cheap. How can you go wrong?
Daal (red lentils)
Ingredients:
1 cup red lentils
1 slice ginger, 1 inch piece, peeled
1/4 teaspoon ground turmeric
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper, or to taste
1. Soak the lentils in water for at least one hour.
2. Rinse the lentils and place them in the pot with all the spices and the ginger. Cover with about one inch of water (up to your first knuckle, if you stick your finger in the pot, just until it touches the surface of the lentils).
3. Bring to a boil, skimming off any foam.
4. Reduce the heat and stir occaisionally until the beans are soft and soupy.
This is a DELIGHTFUL meal, that's tasty with flat bread (naan) or rice. It also packs an amazing 9 grams of protein per 1/2 cup serving....not bad at all! Best of all, lentils are so cheap. How can you go wrong?
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Beach Body....or Not
According to the calendar, I technically should have my beach body in 12 days. Unless some miracle happens overnight though, bikinis will still flee in terror when I pass them in the clothes department. I have to say that I am a little disappointed with the small amount of results I've seen. But I also can't complain because I didn't give it 100% everyday. I am pleased about the small amount of muscle I've gained and inches I've lost. In fact I went shopping and was thrilled when I tried on a pair of size 16 gap pants and they fit like a dream! Now I realize for most of you that would be a nightmare; but for the girl who's rocked a size 20 (or higher) for years; that 16 felt pretty bam good!
With the summer barely beginning there is still time to shred some extra pounds. The problem is that I've reached a plateau. The number of pounds I've lost, 37.68 (every decimal counts!) that I used to love sooooo much, now mocks me with its resistance to lower by even a 10th of a decimal. So now I'm on the hunt to find free, fun, and feasible ways to change up the workout routine. I'd love to do a booty camp or gym, but with the dough on the low, those options are out. I'm open to any suggestions though!
With the summer barely beginning there is still time to shred some extra pounds. The problem is that I've reached a plateau. The number of pounds I've lost, 37.68 (every decimal counts!) that I used to love sooooo much, now mocks me with its resistance to lower by even a 10th of a decimal. So now I'm on the hunt to find free, fun, and feasible ways to change up the workout routine. I'd love to do a booty camp or gym, but with the dough on the low, those options are out. I'm open to any suggestions though!
Monday, June 15, 2009
Roots
The minutes are ticking away on my Dad's 59th birthday. I give mad props to the man who is faithful, consistent, disciplined, Godly, and my inspiration for writing. Yesterday I asked him what he wanted for his birthday, and he said the flower bed weeded and the lawn mowed (not the most glamorous, but certainly practical, and a gift I could definitely afford to give!).
So this morning I set about to get rid of some weeds. It turned out to be quite therapeutic and enlightening. At first I simply plucked at the bits of green I saw above the surface and while topically the problem was taken care of, I realized to really get the job done, I needed to get my hands a little bit dirtier. So I turned up the music, got comfortable, and started digging.
Some weeds looked really big on the surface, but when I dug I saw that the roots didn't go all that deep. Others weeds were just the opposite. I'd give a little tug expecting a quick payoff, but would end up putting some muscle into it and only after a hard yank and me falling backwards would the little sucker come out. Other weeds were shallow in depth, but they spanned a wide area, connecting a series of green shoots above the surface. And then there were the ones I would try to uproot, and while I yanked, and tugged and pulled I saw limited progress, but I knew there was still much more beneath the surface. Those would have to wait for another day.
With the grimy dirt beneath my nails and the cool breeze blowing across my neck, I couldn't help but see why Christ so often used agricultural analogies. Aren't much of the issues I face in my life like this flower bed of weeds? Some deceptively small on the surface, but with roots that go quite deep. Then there were the weeds in different areas across the flower bed, that shared one common root. There are the heart issues that take work to discover the root, but I tell you every time I fell on my bum from the effort of exertion, a little grin would creep it's way across my face at the sight of dark rich soil clinging to pale white roots. It took some work to unearth, but it was worth it.
Habits both good and bad have deep roots in my life. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that for the most part, whatever issue I'm dealing with isn't to be taken at face value. There are deeper roots for why I or anyone else acts a certain way. It takes time and patience to cultivate the soil and pull up weeds by the roots. And there is no avoiding getting messy in the process. But when the roots are pulled up and properly examined, understanding and clarity is much greater.
Weeding is a slow process, but one with tangible rewards. I'll head out tomorrow to finish the rest of the flower bed. Hopefully I'll have the same amount of grace and patience as I allow the Master Gardener to cultivate the garden of my life, and the lives of those around me.
So this morning I set about to get rid of some weeds. It turned out to be quite therapeutic and enlightening. At first I simply plucked at the bits of green I saw above the surface and while topically the problem was taken care of, I realized to really get the job done, I needed to get my hands a little bit dirtier. So I turned up the music, got comfortable, and started digging.
Some weeds looked really big on the surface, but when I dug I saw that the roots didn't go all that deep. Others weeds were just the opposite. I'd give a little tug expecting a quick payoff, but would end up putting some muscle into it and only after a hard yank and me falling backwards would the little sucker come out. Other weeds were shallow in depth, but they spanned a wide area, connecting a series of green shoots above the surface. And then there were the ones I would try to uproot, and while I yanked, and tugged and pulled I saw limited progress, but I knew there was still much more beneath the surface. Those would have to wait for another day.
With the grimy dirt beneath my nails and the cool breeze blowing across my neck, I couldn't help but see why Christ so often used agricultural analogies. Aren't much of the issues I face in my life like this flower bed of weeds? Some deceptively small on the surface, but with roots that go quite deep. Then there were the weeds in different areas across the flower bed, that shared one common root. There are the heart issues that take work to discover the root, but I tell you every time I fell on my bum from the effort of exertion, a little grin would creep it's way across my face at the sight of dark rich soil clinging to pale white roots. It took some work to unearth, but it was worth it.
Habits both good and bad have deep roots in my life. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that for the most part, whatever issue I'm dealing with isn't to be taken at face value. There are deeper roots for why I or anyone else acts a certain way. It takes time and patience to cultivate the soil and pull up weeds by the roots. And there is no avoiding getting messy in the process. But when the roots are pulled up and properly examined, understanding and clarity is much greater.
Weeding is a slow process, but one with tangible rewards. I'll head out tomorrow to finish the rest of the flower bed. Hopefully I'll have the same amount of grace and patience as I allow the Master Gardener to cultivate the garden of my life, and the lives of those around me.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
My Beauty Regime
I must confess that my cousin tagged me a while back to share about my beauty regime, and I've delayed sharing it because, truth be told by regime, is barely existent *blush* I really should NOT share how non existent it is, but for you my cousin I'll give it a go!
Hair
Currently I'm rocking my signature do of multicolored braids. I have all natural hair that I like to wear pressed, but with the heat and humidity it seems futile to even try and mess with my hair on a daily basis. I try to shampoo and condition once a week, and put some sheen and oil on it to keep it from breaking.
Body
Um, I shower :) No particular shower gel/bath soap. I like the smelly good stuff, but I realized it costs more and goes faster, so these days I'm sticking to whatever bar soap is around. I do like perfume, but have a hard time finding the right fragrance, though I have been eyeing some VS fragrances lately. I like the Degree little black dress deodorant, and I'm a huge fan of massive bottles of Jergens lotion to keep the ash away!
Face
I use Clean and Clear for my face (honestly because I like the way it tingles) and whatever lotion is handy. Make-up with me is hit or miss. When I do wear it I borrow my sister's Clinique mascara, black eyeliner, a bit of color on the lids if I'm in the mood, and some sheer gloss for the lips. Most days though, it's vaseline or chapstick and I'm good to go.
So there you have it, my extensive beauty regime :) I tag Minda and Kim next to spill the goods on their beauty regimes!
Hair
Currently I'm rocking my signature do of multicolored braids. I have all natural hair that I like to wear pressed, but with the heat and humidity it seems futile to even try and mess with my hair on a daily basis. I try to shampoo and condition once a week, and put some sheen and oil on it to keep it from breaking.
Body
Um, I shower :) No particular shower gel/bath soap. I like the smelly good stuff, but I realized it costs more and goes faster, so these days I'm sticking to whatever bar soap is around. I do like perfume, but have a hard time finding the right fragrance, though I have been eyeing some VS fragrances lately. I like the Degree little black dress deodorant, and I'm a huge fan of massive bottles of Jergens lotion to keep the ash away!
Face
I use Clean and Clear for my face (honestly because I like the way it tingles) and whatever lotion is handy. Make-up with me is hit or miss. When I do wear it I borrow my sister's Clinique mascara, black eyeliner, a bit of color on the lids if I'm in the mood, and some sheer gloss for the lips. Most days though, it's vaseline or chapstick and I'm good to go.
So there you have it, my extensive beauty regime :) I tag Minda and Kim next to spill the goods on their beauty regimes!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Simple Moments
Today I'm cooking, listening to a sermon online, and listening to the rain fall outside. Can life get better than this?
The job hunt has officially begun, and honestly the prospects have not looked so great. I am encouraged though that God does have a plan. And for the next 6 or so hours as my fingers stir, mix, and chop; I covet the special time I will have with God. I'll hear new truths, or be reminded of old ones as different teachers share with me God's word. I'll have LOTS of quiet and stillness to just BE with Him. And I'll have fun times of worshipping Him with music and song. I'm sure eventually I will get a job or find some way to make money that will give me less leisure time. Until then, I'll enjoy these simple moments I have of cooking with God :)
The job hunt has officially begun, and honestly the prospects have not looked so great. I am encouraged though that God does have a plan. And for the next 6 or so hours as my fingers stir, mix, and chop; I covet the special time I will have with God. I'll hear new truths, or be reminded of old ones as different teachers share with me God's word. I'll have LOTS of quiet and stillness to just BE with Him. And I'll have fun times of worshipping Him with music and song. I'm sure eventually I will get a job or find some way to make money that will give me less leisure time. Until then, I'll enjoy these simple moments I have of cooking with God :)
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
FOOD!
I am a big fan of food :) Especially easy to make, cheap, healthy (okay, semi-healthy-a girl can't live without chocolate!), food. So from time to time I'll post newly acquired recipes here for your enjoyment.
I must give some mad props to my sister who came up with the simple but genius plan of rotating which sibling cooks every week. This has given me tremendous delight in enjoying my off weeks, and getting to have fun and explore new recipes during my on weeks.
Although soup season is over, there have been a few days chilly enough in the last month to enjoy this tasty simple delight. My friend Cheryl G. gave me the recipe. It's very much "a little of this, and a pinch of that" so feel free to doctor the ingredients to your taste.
Flavorful Veggie Soup
-Saute 1 onion
-Add 3 chopped carrots and 3 chopped potatoes
-Spice to taste with ginger, cinammon, nutmeg, curry, salt and pepper
-Add 1 chicken bullion cube and water to cover the ingredients and then some (the more water you add, the thinner your soup).
-Boil until the potatoes and carrots are tender
-If desired puree the soup or eat as is
I must give some mad props to my sister who came up with the simple but genius plan of rotating which sibling cooks every week. This has given me tremendous delight in enjoying my off weeks, and getting to have fun and explore new recipes during my on weeks.
Although soup season is over, there have been a few days chilly enough in the last month to enjoy this tasty simple delight. My friend Cheryl G. gave me the recipe. It's very much "a little of this, and a pinch of that" so feel free to doctor the ingredients to your taste.
Flavorful Veggie Soup
-Saute 1 onion
-Add 3 chopped carrots and 3 chopped potatoes
-Spice to taste with ginger, cinammon, nutmeg, curry, salt and pepper
-Add 1 chicken bullion cube and water to cover the ingredients and then some (the more water you add, the thinner your soup).
-Boil until the potatoes and carrots are tender
-If desired puree the soup or eat as is
A Time for Everything
Soooo, this blog's been a little quiet of late, because some rather deep thoughts have been percolating. I got the opportunity to go to a re-entry conference this past week, and *sigh* I finally feel okay again. Funny enough, that feeling comes at realizing that things will never be the same again. But knowing that and being okay with that are two VERY different things. There are a thousand things I'd love to elaborate on, but I think the moment that struck me the most was when we got to watch the end of Return of the King (the 3rd in the Lord of the Rings trilogy). Now the first time I watched it, I was just sooooo ready for the movie to finally end. This time however, I couldn't stop the stream of tears as I deeply felt the paradox of "coming home" that Frodo and his companions experienced. (Trust me, the irony of crying because I was empathizing with a hobbit did not escape me).
To refresh your memory, Frodo and his companions arrive back in the shire (visions and dreams of which had sustained them during their journey), and it's home, but yet it's not the same. The 4 companions sit down at the pub where they started their journey. The scene around them is very much the same, but they are completely different. They can't enjoy the revelry as before, far too much has changed in them. They are experiencing the paradox of being back home, but no longer fitting in. Sam eventually marries the girl he left behind and has some kids. However for Frodo the shire will never be home again. He alludes to wounds he received along the journey, and painfully bids his companions good-bye and continues on down a different path. He instructs Sam to finish the book, and sails off. Finally at the end of the movie (quite some time from when he first arrived) Sam says that he is home.
I don't know how many Kleenexes I went through, but I tell you, it was no small amount. All the while I'm watching the ending, I'm remembering the first movie in the trilogy where the fellowship of the ring is formed. I'm thinking of all the things Frodo and Sam went through together. I'm reliving the moments that strengthened and tested their friendship, and I'm realizing that now it's all over with. Oh, I'm sure Sam and Frodo will keep in touch, but this quest that became both of their lives for a season was over. They didn't have demons to defeat and mountains to climb together anymore. Their paths would never intertwine in quite the same way again. So there's the loss of a deep friendship; or perhaps I should say a change in their friendship as well as the loss of this epic dream. It's beautiful really that they got to celebrate the ending in such a positive way. Many times in life the dreams we fight for, live for and even die for don't end on such a high note. But even still, there's this realization that it's over. It's time for a new journey, and a new adventure, one that will take them on different roads.
I don't know if like Frodo, I'll get to sail off to new adventures, or if like Sam my new journey will be in my own backyard with marriage and kids on the horizon, but I do know that I've finally realized that a season of my life is over. Really OVER.
I loved and hated living overseas. But in the best and worst of times, I still clung to that identity of the 20 something single living big adventures abroad. I've loved and gained, and loved and lost. I've got friendships that have gone to new depths, and friendships I've grieved the loss of. I am forever changed my things I saw God do, and the things I didn't see Him do. On the outside I look pretty much the same, but I've got some scars and wounds; some are still a little raw and need to heal, but others have given me wisdom and maturity that I greatly needed.
Grief is a funny thing. I thought I'd cried all the tears I had to cry before I returned to the States, then last week showed me that there were many more tears to fall. As my counselor said, it's not about getting the crying all over with, it's about integrating what I've gained and lost into my life now. All that I've experienced has now become a part of my story.
So goodbye to those incredible two years of living out adventures I never dreamed of. Good-bye to those hopes and dreams that I never saw come to pass. Good-bye to the doors and opportunities that were once in a lifetime events. I think I'm ready to open my hands to what the next chapter of life holds. I'll keep a couple tissues handy for the moments that catch me off guard, but I'll also start trying on some dancing shoes.
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven....
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance
To refresh your memory, Frodo and his companions arrive back in the shire (visions and dreams of which had sustained them during their journey), and it's home, but yet it's not the same. The 4 companions sit down at the pub where they started their journey. The scene around them is very much the same, but they are completely different. They can't enjoy the revelry as before, far too much has changed in them. They are experiencing the paradox of being back home, but no longer fitting in. Sam eventually marries the girl he left behind and has some kids. However for Frodo the shire will never be home again. He alludes to wounds he received along the journey, and painfully bids his companions good-bye and continues on down a different path. He instructs Sam to finish the book, and sails off. Finally at the end of the movie (quite some time from when he first arrived) Sam says that he is home.
I don't know how many Kleenexes I went through, but I tell you, it was no small amount. All the while I'm watching the ending, I'm remembering the first movie in the trilogy where the fellowship of the ring is formed. I'm thinking of all the things Frodo and Sam went through together. I'm reliving the moments that strengthened and tested their friendship, and I'm realizing that now it's all over with. Oh, I'm sure Sam and Frodo will keep in touch, but this quest that became both of their lives for a season was over. They didn't have demons to defeat and mountains to climb together anymore. Their paths would never intertwine in quite the same way again. So there's the loss of a deep friendship; or perhaps I should say a change in their friendship as well as the loss of this epic dream. It's beautiful really that they got to celebrate the ending in such a positive way. Many times in life the dreams we fight for, live for and even die for don't end on such a high note. But even still, there's this realization that it's over. It's time for a new journey, and a new adventure, one that will take them on different roads.
I don't know if like Frodo, I'll get to sail off to new adventures, or if like Sam my new journey will be in my own backyard with marriage and kids on the horizon, but I do know that I've finally realized that a season of my life is over. Really OVER.
I loved and hated living overseas. But in the best and worst of times, I still clung to that identity of the 20 something single living big adventures abroad. I've loved and gained, and loved and lost. I've got friendships that have gone to new depths, and friendships I've grieved the loss of. I am forever changed my things I saw God do, and the things I didn't see Him do. On the outside I look pretty much the same, but I've got some scars and wounds; some are still a little raw and need to heal, but others have given me wisdom and maturity that I greatly needed.
Grief is a funny thing. I thought I'd cried all the tears I had to cry before I returned to the States, then last week showed me that there were many more tears to fall. As my counselor said, it's not about getting the crying all over with, it's about integrating what I've gained and lost into my life now. All that I've experienced has now become a part of my story.
So goodbye to those incredible two years of living out adventures I never dreamed of. Good-bye to those hopes and dreams that I never saw come to pass. Good-bye to the doors and opportunities that were once in a lifetime events. I think I'm ready to open my hands to what the next chapter of life holds. I'll keep a couple tissues handy for the moments that catch me off guard, but I'll also start trying on some dancing shoes.
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven....
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance
Monday, April 27, 2009
Do-over
Rarely in life do we get the opportunity for a completely new start, yet I find myself with just that. As I am adjusting to life back in the States, I see the life I used to live, and sometimes it shocks me. How could I have lived like that? I am so very thankful that I get the chance to really sit and examine my life and how I choose to live it. Theoretically, this should be a process we all do, however I find that we become so caught up in the daily grind that it's hard to step back and ask if how we do things even makes sense. So as I go about my daily business, I try not to simply put on the same comfortable pair of shoes, but I do a bit of introspection. Why did I do things this way? Was that working for me? How have I changed? How am I the same? What changes are good and what changes need to go? How can I take what I learned overseas and integrate it into my life here? It can be a bit stressful at times to have all these thoughts running through my head. At the end of the day however, I'm glad for the opportunity to start over. Daunting though it may be, it's a priceless opportunity, and one I want to fully take advantage of!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Belonging
Sooo, re-entry is a doozy. So far it hasn’t been as worse as original culture shock, but it’s not a bed of roses either! Yesterday I was able to pinpoint one of the reasons I have been so sad when going to places that are so welcoming towards me (i.e. my home fellowship).
I don’t yet feel like I belong.
People are greeting each other, singing songs familiar to them, and I feel like I’m on the fringes. I don’t belong to the church, and even deeper I don’t belong to the people. Yes we’re all the body of Christ, but it’s hard to not see or get a hug from the little rugrats you baby-sit, or have “your spot” for lunch afterwards, or even be able to lose yourself in worship as opposed to constantly being on guard, wondering what comes next. It’s strange how little and how much changes while you’re gone for two years. Even stranger is the way your mind plays tricks on you. I’m sure that most of the things that seem like such shocking changes to me at my home fellowship are things that have been there all along, I’m just looking at everything with new lenses now. It’s somewhat of a lonely place; looking like I belong, but not yet feeling like I do.
I’ve been slightly obsessed with appearances since I returned. I’m sure some of it is legitimate, in that my shopping needs have been repressed and restricted to occasional spurts, but I think more of it stems from my desire to belong. Maybe if I look the part, I’ll feel the part. Maybe if I dress and talk like everyone around me, this place will start to feel like home. The truth is, that like anything else, re-entry is a process. I can’t make anywhere feel like home. Even at my house, I can unpack and put photos on the wall, but I have to recognize, that it’ll take a while before I stop asking questions like Where do I find the chopping boards? What day does the trash come? Or the one I have to resist asking the most why do you do _____? That just don’t make no sense!
Through it all, God is my rock. He’s showing me that humility is key. I didn’t leave, and go through “spiritual boot camp” so I could come back and teach everybody else. Leaving was humbling, and coming back is humbling too. These are life long lessons I’m enrolled in. I get the lovely opportunity to grow in compassion to all those who leave their homes for an extended period of time, then come back to a familiar strangeness.
I don’t yet feel like I belong.
People are greeting each other, singing songs familiar to them, and I feel like I’m on the fringes. I don’t belong to the church, and even deeper I don’t belong to the people. Yes we’re all the body of Christ, but it’s hard to not see or get a hug from the little rugrats you baby-sit, or have “your spot” for lunch afterwards, or even be able to lose yourself in worship as opposed to constantly being on guard, wondering what comes next. It’s strange how little and how much changes while you’re gone for two years. Even stranger is the way your mind plays tricks on you. I’m sure that most of the things that seem like such shocking changes to me at my home fellowship are things that have been there all along, I’m just looking at everything with new lenses now. It’s somewhat of a lonely place; looking like I belong, but not yet feeling like I do.
I’ve been slightly obsessed with appearances since I returned. I’m sure some of it is legitimate, in that my shopping needs have been repressed and restricted to occasional spurts, but I think more of it stems from my desire to belong. Maybe if I look the part, I’ll feel the part. Maybe if I dress and talk like everyone around me, this place will start to feel like home. The truth is, that like anything else, re-entry is a process. I can’t make anywhere feel like home. Even at my house, I can unpack and put photos on the wall, but I have to recognize, that it’ll take a while before I stop asking questions like Where do I find the chopping boards? What day does the trash come? Or the one I have to resist asking the most why do you do _____? That just don’t make no sense!
Through it all, God is my rock. He’s showing me that humility is key. I didn’t leave, and go through “spiritual boot camp” so I could come back and teach everybody else. Leaving was humbling, and coming back is humbling too. These are life long lessons I’m enrolled in. I get the lovely opportunity to grow in compassion to all those who leave their homes for an extended period of time, then come back to a familiar strangeness.
Beach Body Here I Come!
Since November of 2008 I made the choice to start changing my lifestyle in hopes of losing weight for good. It’s been a LONG journey of 3 steps forward and 4 steps back since my teen years, but it has been so sweet to taste success!!! I’ve lost 30.28 pounds total (the most weight I’ve ever lost at one time), but that is only one benefit. I feel better about myself, I’m healthier and get this--I have actually been able to inspire others to start healthier habits……what a hoot!!! Earlier this month I ran (and I do use that term loosely) a 10k, that pushed me to my limit, but was SUCH a huge accomplishment. It’s something I continually look back to and remind myself of what my body is capable of. I’ve learned that I have to speak truth to myself, and have faith that I CAN do things that I’ve never done before. My past failure is not a barometer of future success. It’s funny how important it is to simply believe that you can do something. That alone sometimes can make the difference between accomplishing a goal, and quitting.
Recently I decided to intensify my workout routine by purchasing an in-home 90 day boot camp. A friend recommended the program to me after she and her husband did it (he lost 50lbs in 3 months and has kept it off for a year!!!). I couldn’t wait to get my package in the mail. When it finally arrived, I completely panicked. I buried my fear in food and refused to look at the materials. “Who am I to think that I can consistently workout 6 days a week for 3 months?” What possessed me to think I could get washboard abs? Do I even want a six-pack? And so the overwhelming thoughts swarmed through my mind like the buzzards they were; eager at the chance to pick off my defeated carcass at the start line. Looking back to my journal entries in late November I found the courage to begin. After a long talk with a good friend, I’d written that I would start telling myself that this round of eating right and exercising was going to be it. I would succeed, and I would tell myself that I would succeed whether I believed it or not. I had no idea then how pivotal that would be. So here I am again, almost 5 months later with the same dilemma before me. I can hope that I’ll make it, although fearing failure at every turn; or I can tell myself that I WILL be successful in completing the program, even if I don’t quite believe it myself. I think that’s something called faith-believing in something that I can’t YET see.
And speaking of faith, I’m so grateful to all the people who’ve had faith in me when I didn’t have faith in myself. While I may have seen results recently, everyone who’s ever encouraged me in my weight loss journey is a part of my success today.
SO here’s to the next 90 days, I know I won’t be perfect, but I believe that I will complete the program and see amazing results! If I wasn’t such a chicken I’d post my before pictures with this blog, but before pictures are much less depressing when you have an after picture right next to it :)
Recently I decided to intensify my workout routine by purchasing an in-home 90 day boot camp. A friend recommended the program to me after she and her husband did it (he lost 50lbs in 3 months and has kept it off for a year!!!). I couldn’t wait to get my package in the mail. When it finally arrived, I completely panicked. I buried my fear in food and refused to look at the materials. “Who am I to think that I can consistently workout 6 days a week for 3 months?” What possessed me to think I could get washboard abs? Do I even want a six-pack? And so the overwhelming thoughts swarmed through my mind like the buzzards they were; eager at the chance to pick off my defeated carcass at the start line. Looking back to my journal entries in late November I found the courage to begin. After a long talk with a good friend, I’d written that I would start telling myself that this round of eating right and exercising was going to be it. I would succeed, and I would tell myself that I would succeed whether I believed it or not. I had no idea then how pivotal that would be. So here I am again, almost 5 months later with the same dilemma before me. I can hope that I’ll make it, although fearing failure at every turn; or I can tell myself that I WILL be successful in completing the program, even if I don’t quite believe it myself. I think that’s something called faith-believing in something that I can’t YET see.
And speaking of faith, I’m so grateful to all the people who’ve had faith in me when I didn’t have faith in myself. While I may have seen results recently, everyone who’s ever encouraged me in my weight loss journey is a part of my success today.
SO here’s to the next 90 days, I know I won’t be perfect, but I believe that I will complete the program and see amazing results! If I wasn’t such a chicken I’d post my before pictures with this blog, but before pictures are much less depressing when you have an after picture right next to it :)
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Re-entry
I have been back now for a little over a week. All the events that have happened since I first boarded the plane could each be a seperate blog in and of itself, but I decided to play catch up by creating one blog with the whole enchillada!
Before
After!
Now I have to brag on my family for a little bit here :)
My sister has been soooo great at helping me readjust to American culture. Bless her for being calm in the face of my frequent outbursts and consistently asking "what was culture shock for you today." It's also nice having a workout buddy who is always ehm "highly encouraging" me to workout when I'd rather not :)
I went shopping with my brother, and it was INCREDIBLE. Can I just say that my brother has impeccable taste in fashion, and an uncanny sense of what will look good on someone. He was patient (I tried on over 20 pairs of jeans alone!), conscious of my budget, brutally honest, and well, every girl should be so lucky as to have a brother like mine!
This time two weeks ago I was sobbing my eyes out as I said good-bye to people who'd become my family. Then on Friday the 13th VERY early, I said one final good-bye and began the LONG bumpy journey back to the States. After a series of delays and missed flights, I finally ended up in DC w/my sis and got to enjoy sights of the capitol as I began recovering from jet lag.
I also enjoyed my first taste of sweet potatoes in 2 years....yum!!
We stayed at an incredible Bed and Breakfast that I would highly recommend to anyone visiting the DC area http://www.suite34.us.com/bnb.html.
A few days later I was back in the metroplex enjoying a warm welcome from my family and a few close girl friends.
Many thanks to my fabulous hair stylist Mrs. G who had my locks looking dark and lovely, all without charging me a dime!!!
BeforeDuring
After!Now I have to brag on my family for a little bit here :)
My sister has been soooo great at helping me readjust to American culture. Bless her for being calm in the face of my frequent outbursts and consistently asking "what was culture shock for you today." It's also nice having a workout buddy who is always ehm "highly encouraging" me to workout when I'd rather not :)
I went shopping with my brother, and it was INCREDIBLE. Can I just say that my brother has impeccable taste in fashion, and an uncanny sense of what will look good on someone. He was patient (I tried on over 20 pairs of jeans alone!), conscious of my budget, brutally honest, and well, every girl should be so lucky as to have a brother like mine!
I think the thing I've enjoyed the most has been LAUGHING constantly with my family. I'd forgotten how much fun we can have together.
I've definintely had moments of culture shock.......
-why is that guy coming on to me? Oh wait, he's just making eye contact-it's called good customer service :)
-people are wearing sweats and workout clothes in public and they're not working out!
-everyone drives so well-behaved here; they all stay in their own lanes!
-what's up with so much ice in drinks
-i miss the sea and mountains, everything here is rather flat
-yummy cheap fruits and veggies where are you???
-sometimes I open my mouth to speak and English doesn't come out....lol
......but overall, I'd say I'm doing alright. I can honestly say that I miss my home on the far side of the sea, but it's also good to be back in the Lone Star State!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Flat Footed Conformity
I have flat feet that only like to fit into size 12-13 shoes. Yeah, shoe shopping-like looking for a needle in a haystack! Since I’ve been jogging regularly my feet have been hurting more and I’ve decided that the best solution would be to purchase some insoles for support. After a 6 month wait (the joy of living overseas!), they finally arrived last month. I started wearing them for a couple of hours a day and was convinced that the manufacturers were playing dirty tricks on me. They hurt like @#!$%&!!! Seriously, I’d crawl into bed every night just wanting to elevate my feet, my entire body hurting from the pain.
Funny thing is that they are exactly what my feet need. I’ve worn shoes with no support for so long, that the best thing for me felt like cruel and unusual punishment. Now, 3 weeks later, my feet don’t protest nearly as much at wearing the insoles. It actually feels good to wear them. But they reminded me of an important truth. So often I choose what feels good and right when those are the very things that are keeping me from growing and building muscles that have been weak for far too long.
Funny thing is that they are exactly what my feet need. I’ve worn shoes with no support for so long, that the best thing for me felt like cruel and unusual punishment. Now, 3 weeks later, my feet don’t protest nearly as much at wearing the insoles. It actually feels good to wear them. But they reminded me of an important truth. So often I choose what feels good and right when those are the very things that are keeping me from growing and building muscles that have been weak for far too long.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Lunch for 3
So here I was enjoying lunch at a place close to my job.
I chose the restaurant for the yummy food, and the amazing view.
The sun was shining, I had a good book to read, a great view, and a good meal. Everything was perfect........except for some uninvited guests.
I am not a fan of stray animals, cats in particular. They are far too accustomed to being fed from the table by patrons at restaurants. I was annoyed by them especially since they seemed determined to interrupt my meal and were resistant to my "skat, psst, and shoo-ing" attempts. I decided to ignore them.
I was really into the chapter I was reading; eating without looking at my plate.....bad move. I glance up and one cat has JUMPED onto the table and is 2 inches away from my plate of food!!! I was incensed, and slightly amused that my tunnel vision almost cost me my meal. I ate in a hurry and left the table under the cats hungry eyes, but I couldn't resist a backwards glance. Here's what I saw:
Ummm, yeah I think I just enjoyed my last meal there.
I chose the restaurant for the yummy food, and the amazing view.
The sun was shining, I had a good book to read, a great view, and a good meal. Everything was perfect........except for some uninvited guests.
I am not a fan of stray animals, cats in particular. They are far too accustomed to being fed from the table by patrons at restaurants. I was annoyed by them especially since they seemed determined to interrupt my meal and were resistant to my "skat, psst, and shoo-ing" attempts. I decided to ignore them.
I was really into the chapter I was reading; eating without looking at my plate.....bad move. I glance up and one cat has JUMPED onto the table and is 2 inches away from my plate of food!!! I was incensed, and slightly amused that my tunnel vision almost cost me my meal. I ate in a hurry and left the table under the cats hungry eyes, but I couldn't resist a backwards glance. Here's what I saw:
Ummm, yeah I think I just enjoyed my last meal there.
Monday, February 16, 2009
And so it begins
Today I was riding the bus reading a book about a teacher’s experiences overseas. At one point that wasn’t really nostalgic I felt my throat clam up and I started blinking fast to keep the tears at bay…… Yes, friends it is that time again.
I’ve been so at peace with where I’m at and what God is doing in my heart. Yet I’ve also known that it’s time to start saying good-bye. I’m so looking forward to so many things back in America (can we say clothes that fit, and getting my hair DONE!!!), but I’m going to miss life here like nothing else! Snaps I can’t even type a sentence without taking a break to grab a Kleenex.
So yeeeeaaaah, I’m a bit sad, and the tears have started to fall. I know they’ll continue to fall for quite some time. I’m one of those emotional ones who just kind of lets it all hang out when I cry. No polite sniffling behind Kleenexes for me! So, bring on the Kleenex, and I’ll let the tears fall. I’m happy that there are people I love enough to cry over when I leave them. I’ve been really lucky and blessed to have led the life I’ve lived for the past few years. It’s been a crazy journey I never thought I’d be on, yet here I am, cruising down the highway at incredible speed realizing that all the memories and moments from the past two years are quickly fading in my rearview mirror as my exit rapidly approaches. For a while I fought the inevitable. I didn’t want to leave, felt rejection and wondered what I’d done wrong. I know now I’m where I’m supposed to be, and I’m excited about the next stage, but I’m also sad for what I’ll be leaving behind.
Bittersweet, life is so very bittersweet.
I know that God is good, and He’s in control and it will all be okay, but it doesn’t make the grieving process any shorter. So I’ll throw my arms wide open and embrace it! Here’s to letting the tears fall, unashamedly!
I’ve been so at peace with where I’m at and what God is doing in my heart. Yet I’ve also known that it’s time to start saying good-bye. I’m so looking forward to so many things back in America (can we say clothes that fit, and getting my hair DONE!!!), but I’m going to miss life here like nothing else! Snaps I can’t even type a sentence without taking a break to grab a Kleenex.
So yeeeeaaaah, I’m a bit sad, and the tears have started to fall. I know they’ll continue to fall for quite some time. I’m one of those emotional ones who just kind of lets it all hang out when I cry. No polite sniffling behind Kleenexes for me! So, bring on the Kleenex, and I’ll let the tears fall. I’m happy that there are people I love enough to cry over when I leave them. I’ve been really lucky and blessed to have led the life I’ve lived for the past few years. It’s been a crazy journey I never thought I’d be on, yet here I am, cruising down the highway at incredible speed realizing that all the memories and moments from the past two years are quickly fading in my rearview mirror as my exit rapidly approaches. For a while I fought the inevitable. I didn’t want to leave, felt rejection and wondered what I’d done wrong. I know now I’m where I’m supposed to be, and I’m excited about the next stage, but I’m also sad for what I’ll be leaving behind.
Bittersweet, life is so very bittersweet.
I know that God is good, and He’s in control and it will all be okay, but it doesn’t make the grieving process any shorter. So I’ll throw my arms wide open and embrace it! Here’s to letting the tears fall, unashamedly!
Monday, February 9, 2009
25
1. I am the least picky eater in my family
2. Somehow I have managed to not get “my black card” revoked even though I have never seen the movie: The Color Purple.
3. The basement of my building at work has become a storage for a large amount of pumkin/squash-ish things…..produces a rather peculiar odor.
4. I don’t like anything but clear polish or a French manicure on my finger nails.
5. Two stores I really love, Ikea and H&M, I’ve never shopped at in the US, only overseas.
6. I could eat a peanut butter jelly sandwich every day.
7. I’ve got an awesome set of bedroom furniture that I will sadly have to sell when I move
8. I don’t have a middle name
9. I love bananas, peaches, and watermelons but hate anything with those artificial flavors
10. I love getting a seat on the bus
11. I’ve always wanted to join a book club but never have.
12. Outside of the bathtub, I hate getting wet; no dancing in the rain for me!
13. I love making impressive looking desserts/meal that are easy to fix!
14. I am not afraid or ashamed to take myself out to dinner and either read a book or work on my laptop alone.
15. I eat a little bit of chocolate nearly everyday
16. I freak out if I spend more than $20 at one time
17. I rarely leave the house w/out wearing earrings.
18. I love clothes with pockets
19. I dream of the day when food will not be an issue for me.
20. I am a plant person, not a pet person.
21. I’m really looking forward to “getting angry” when I see my brother again and he tries to pick me up or tickle me :)
22. The only piece of furniture I own is a bookshelf
23. I eat all parts of an apple, seed, stem and all :)
24. Laila Ali used to be my secret hero
25. I once passed up the chance to buy a 1 carat diamond ring for $100, because I didn’t have $100.
I think I'm supposed to tag someone else now, but I just might be the last person I know to do this......so if I tag you and you've already done it no worries :)
Kim, Erin, Ashley, Katie, Matty, and Derya; tag, you are it!
2. Somehow I have managed to not get “my black card” revoked even though I have never seen the movie: The Color Purple.
3. The basement of my building at work has become a storage for a large amount of pumkin/squash-ish things…..produces a rather peculiar odor.
4. I don’t like anything but clear polish or a French manicure on my finger nails.
5. Two stores I really love, Ikea and H&M, I’ve never shopped at in the US, only overseas.
6. I could eat a peanut butter jelly sandwich every day.
7. I’ve got an awesome set of bedroom furniture that I will sadly have to sell when I move
8. I don’t have a middle name
9. I love bananas, peaches, and watermelons but hate anything with those artificial flavors
10. I love getting a seat on the bus
11. I’ve always wanted to join a book club but never have.
12. Outside of the bathtub, I hate getting wet; no dancing in the rain for me!
13. I love making impressive looking desserts/meal that are easy to fix!
14. I am not afraid or ashamed to take myself out to dinner and either read a book or work on my laptop alone.
15. I eat a little bit of chocolate nearly everyday
16. I freak out if I spend more than $20 at one time
17. I rarely leave the house w/out wearing earrings.
18. I love clothes with pockets
19. I dream of the day when food will not be an issue for me.
20. I am a plant person, not a pet person.
21. I’m really looking forward to “getting angry” when I see my brother again and he tries to pick me up or tickle me :)
22. The only piece of furniture I own is a bookshelf
23. I eat all parts of an apple, seed, stem and all :)
24. Laila Ali used to be my secret hero
25. I once passed up the chance to buy a 1 carat diamond ring for $100, because I didn’t have $100.
I think I'm supposed to tag someone else now, but I just might be the last person I know to do this......so if I tag you and you've already done it no worries :)
Kim, Erin, Ashley, Katie, Matty, and Derya; tag, you are it!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Some Important Numbers
15.65 pounds I’ve lost since November 29, 2008
4.35 pounds I still want to lose before I return
46 days til my feet touch American soil
11 more workouts until I run 5k
6 weekends I have left overseas
4 times I’ve cooked this entire month :D
5.5 books I’ve devoured this month
2 days left of solo living
2 birds I am pet sitting
2 months I’ve had my braids in (can they make it another month and a half????)
27 days out of 35 that I’ve worn the same pair shoes
40 days until I run in my first ever 10K
4.35 pounds I still want to lose before I return
46 days til my feet touch American soil
11 more workouts until I run 5k
6 weekends I have left overseas
4 times I’ve cooked this entire month :D
5.5 books I’ve devoured this month
2 days left of solo living
2 birds I am pet sitting
2 months I’ve had my braids in (can they make it another month and a half????)
27 days out of 35 that I’ve worn the same pair shoes
40 days until I run in my first ever 10K
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Mr. Yellow
I have a new roommate. He’s a bit messy. But so far we’re not getting along to badly. His small yellow body barely takes up any space. It’s nice to hear the sounds of him hopping around, and when he sings; well it’s a most pleasant sound.
It’s been a while since I’ve had a pet (perhaps 20 years), and my most sincere wish is that I can keep him alive. I’m proud of myself for bird sitting. As someone who’s not always so fond of animals, this is a huge step for me.
I tried to get him to sing on camera but he's a little shy. Here's a wee bit of him chirping and hopping around.
It’s been a while since I’ve had a pet (perhaps 20 years), and my most sincere wish is that I can keep him alive. I’m proud of myself for bird sitting. As someone who’s not always so fond of animals, this is a huge step for me.
I tried to get him to sing on camera but he's a little shy. Here's a wee bit of him chirping and hopping around.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Top 10
I started a list of the top ten reasons I'm looking forward to 2009, then I realized, that most of them were reasons why I was looking forward to being back in America. Either way, here's my top ten for 2009 in no particular order.
1. Seeing my family and friends again.
2. Worshipping corporately with like-minded believers.
3. Shopping...sigh....(Hobby Lobby, Ross, Old Navy, Walmart, Target, Nordstrom's Rack, Mardel, Barnes and Nobles, Big Lots, Costco; need I say more?).
4. Going to Restaurants I love, and discovering new ones (Tex-Mex food, Mexican food, and Asian food, not to mention home food).
5. Driving. Driving. Driving. The independence that comes with driving.
6. Discovering a new career....whatever it will be.
7. Continuing to live a healthy lifestyle.
8. Thanksgiving with my family.
9. More traveling adventures.
10. Living confidently, loving lavishly, and knowing Jesus more!
1. Seeing my family and friends again.
2. Worshipping corporately with like-minded believers.
3. Shopping...sigh....(Hobby Lobby, Ross, Old Navy, Walmart, Target, Nordstrom's Rack, Mardel, Barnes and Nobles, Big Lots, Costco; need I say more?).
4. Going to Restaurants I love, and discovering new ones (Tex-Mex food, Mexican food, and Asian food, not to mention home food).
5. Driving. Driving. Driving. The independence that comes with driving.
6. Discovering a new career....whatever it will be.
7. Continuing to live a healthy lifestyle.
8. Thanksgiving with my family.
9. More traveling adventures.
10. Living confidently, loving lavishly, and knowing Jesus more!
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