Beach Body....or Not

According to the calendar, I technically should have my beach body in 12 days. Unless some miracle happens overnight though, bikinis will still flee in terror when I pass them in the clothes department. I have to say that I am a little disappointed with the small amount of results I've seen. But I also can't complain because I didn't give it 100% everyday. I am pleased about the small amount of muscle I've gained and inches I've lost. In fact I went shopping and was thrilled when I tried on a pair of size 16 gap pants and they fit like a dream! Now I realize for most of you that would be a nightmare; but for the girl who's rocked a size 20 (or higher) for years; that 16 felt pretty bam good!

With the summer barely beginning there is still time to shred some extra pounds. The problem is that I've reached a plateau. The number of pounds I've lost, 37.68 (every decimal counts!) that I used to love sooooo much, now mocks me with its resistance to lower by even a 10th of a decimal. So now I'm on the hunt to find free, fun, and feasible ways to change up the workout routine. I'd love to do a booty camp or gym, but with the dough on the low, those options are out. I'm open to any suggestions though!

Roots

The minutes are ticking away on my Dad's 59th birthday. I give mad props to the man who is faithful, consistent, disciplined, Godly, and my inspiration for writing. Yesterday I asked him what he wanted for his birthday, and he said the flower bed weeded and the lawn mowed (not the most glamorous, but certainly practical, and a gift I could definitely afford to give!).

So this morning I set about to get rid of some weeds. It turned out to be quite therapeutic and enlightening. At first I simply plucked at the bits of green I saw above the surface and while topically the problem was taken care of, I realized to really get the job done, I needed to get my hands a little bit dirtier. So I turned up the music, got comfortable, and started digging.

Some weeds looked really big on the surface, but when I dug I saw that the roots didn't go all that deep. Others weeds were just the opposite. I'd give a little tug expecting a quick payoff, but would end up putting some muscle into it and only after a hard yank and me falling backwards would the little sucker come out. Other weeds were shallow in depth, but they spanned a wide area, connecting a series of green shoots above the surface. And then there were the ones I would try to uproot, and while I yanked, and tugged and pulled I saw limited progress, but I knew there was still much more beneath the surface. Those would have to wait for another day.

With the grimy dirt beneath my nails and the cool breeze blowing across my neck, I couldn't help but see why Christ so often used agricultural analogies. Aren't much of the issues I face in my life like this flower bed of weeds? Some deceptively small on the surface, but with roots that go quite deep. Then there were the weeds in different areas across the flower bed, that shared one common root. There are the heart issues that take work to discover the root, but I tell you every time I fell on my bum from the effort of exertion, a little grin would creep it's way across my face at the sight of dark rich soil clinging to pale white roots. It took some work to unearth, but it was worth it.

Habits both good and bad have deep roots in my life. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that for the most part, whatever issue I'm dealing with isn't to be taken at face value. There are deeper roots for why I or anyone else acts a certain way. It takes time and patience to cultivate the soil and pull up weeds by the roots. And there is no avoiding getting messy in the process. But when the roots are pulled up and properly examined, understanding and clarity is much greater.

Weeding is a slow process, but one with tangible rewards. I'll head out tomorrow to finish the rest of the flower bed. Hopefully I'll have the same amount of grace and patience as I allow the Master Gardener to cultivate the garden of my life, and the lives of those around me.

My Beauty Regime

I must confess that my cousin tagged me a while back to share about my beauty regime, and I've delayed sharing it because, truth be told by regime, is barely existent *blush* I really should NOT share how non existent it is, but for you my cousin I'll give it a go!

Hair
Currently I'm rocking my signature do of multicolored braids. I have all natural hair that I like to wear pressed, but with the heat and humidity it seems futile to even try and mess with my hair on a daily basis. I try to shampoo and condition once a week, and put some sheen and oil on it to keep it from breaking.

Body
Um, I shower :) No particular shower gel/bath soap. I like the smelly good stuff, but I realized it costs more and goes faster, so these days I'm sticking to whatever bar soap is around. I do like perfume, but have a hard time finding the right fragrance, though I have been eyeing some VS fragrances lately. I like the Degree little black dress deodorant, and I'm a huge fan of massive bottles of Jergens lotion to keep the ash away!

Face
I use Clean and Clear for my face (honestly because I like the way it tingles) and whatever lotion is handy. Make-up with me is hit or miss. When I do wear it I borrow my sister's Clinique mascara, black eyeliner, a bit of color on the lids if I'm in the mood, and some sheer gloss for the lips. Most days though, it's vaseline or chapstick and I'm good to go.

So there you have it, my extensive beauty regime :) I tag Minda and Kim next to spill the goods on their beauty regimes!

Simple Moments

Today I'm cooking, listening to a sermon online, and listening to the rain fall outside. Can life get better than this?

The job hunt has officially begun, and honestly the prospects have not looked so great. I am encouraged though that God does have a plan. And for the next 6 or so hours as my fingers stir, mix, and chop; I covet the special time I will have with God. I'll hear new truths, or be reminded of old ones as different teachers share with me God's word. I'll have LOTS of quiet and stillness to just BE with Him. And I'll have fun times of worshipping Him with music and song. I'm sure eventually I will get a job or find some way to make money that will give me less leisure time. Until then, I'll enjoy these simple moments I have of cooking with God :)

FOOD!

I am a big fan of food :) Especially easy to make, cheap, healthy (okay, semi-healthy-a girl can't live without chocolate!), food. So from time to time I'll post newly acquired recipes here for your enjoyment.

I must give some mad props to my sister who came up with the simple but genius plan of rotating which sibling cooks every week. This has given me tremendous delight in enjoying my off weeks, and getting to have fun and explore new recipes during my on weeks.

Although soup season is over, there have been a few days chilly enough in the last month to enjoy this tasty simple delight. My friend Cheryl G. gave me the recipe. It's very much "a little of this, and a pinch of that" so feel free to doctor the ingredients to your taste.

Flavorful Veggie Soup
-Saute 1 onion
-Add 3 chopped carrots and 3 chopped potatoes
-Spice to taste with ginger, cinammon, nutmeg, curry, salt and pepper
-Add 1 chicken bullion cube and water to cover the ingredients and then some (the more water you add, the thinner your soup).
-Boil until the potatoes and carrots are tender
-If desired puree the soup or eat as is

A Time for Everything

Soooo, this blog's been a little quiet of late, because some rather deep thoughts have been percolating. I got the opportunity to go to a re-entry conference this past week, and *sigh* I finally feel okay again. Funny enough, that feeling comes at realizing that things will never be the same again. But knowing that and being okay with that are two VERY different things. There are a thousand things I'd love to elaborate on, but I think the moment that struck me the most was when we got to watch the end of Return of the King (the 3rd in the Lord of the Rings trilogy). Now the first time I watched it, I was just sooooo ready for the movie to finally end. This time however, I couldn't stop the stream of tears as I deeply felt the paradox of "coming home" that Frodo and his companions experienced. (Trust me, the irony of crying because I was empathizing with a hobbit did not escape me).

To refresh your memory, Frodo and his companions arrive back in the shire (visions and dreams of which had sustained them during their journey), and it's home, but yet it's not the same. The 4 companions sit down at the pub where they started their journey. The scene around them is very much the same, but they are completely different. They can't enjoy the revelry as before, far too much has changed in them. They are experiencing the paradox of being back home, but no longer fitting in. Sam eventually marries the girl he left behind and has some kids. However for Frodo the shire will never be home again. He alludes to wounds he received along the journey, and painfully bids his companions good-bye and continues on down a different path. He instructs Sam to finish the book, and sails off. Finally at the end of the movie (quite some time from when he first arrived) Sam says that he is home.

I don't know how many Kleenexes I went through, but I tell you, it was no small amount. All the while I'm watching the ending, I'm remembering the first movie in the trilogy where the fellowship of the ring is formed. I'm thinking of all the things Frodo and Sam went through together. I'm reliving the moments that strengthened and tested their friendship, and I'm realizing that now it's all over with. Oh, I'm sure Sam and Frodo will keep in touch, but this quest that became both of their lives for a season was over. They didn't have demons to defeat and mountains to climb together anymore. Their paths would never intertwine in quite the same way again. So there's the loss of a deep friendship; or perhaps I should say a change in their friendship as well as the loss of this epic dream. It's beautiful really that they got to celebrate the ending in such a positive way. Many times in life the dreams we fight for, live for and even die for don't end on such a high note. But even still, there's this realization that it's over. It's time for a new journey, and a new adventure, one that will take them on different roads.

I don't know if like Frodo, I'll get to sail off to new adventures, or if like Sam my new journey will be in my own backyard with marriage and kids on the horizon, but I do know that I've finally realized that a season of my life is over. Really OVER.

I loved and hated living overseas. But in the best and worst of times, I still clung to that identity of the 20 something single living big adventures abroad. I've loved and gained, and loved and lost. I've got friendships that have gone to new depths, and friendships I've grieved the loss of. I am forever changed my things I saw God do, and the things I didn't see Him do. On the outside I look pretty much the same, but I've got some scars and wounds; some are still a little raw and need to heal, but others have given me wisdom and maturity that I greatly needed.

Grief is a funny thing. I thought I'd cried all the tears I had to cry before I returned to the States, then last week showed me that there were many more tears to fall. As my counselor said, it's not about getting the crying all over with, it's about integrating what I've gained and lost into my life now. All that I've experienced has now become a part of my story.

So goodbye to those incredible two years of living out adventures I never dreamed of. Good-bye to those hopes and dreams that I never saw come to pass. Good-bye to the doors and opportunities that were once in a lifetime events. I think I'm ready to open my hands to what the next chapter of life holds. I'll keep a couple tissues handy for the moments that catch me off guard, but I'll also start trying on some dancing shoes.

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven....
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance

Do-over

Rarely in life do we get the opportunity for a completely new start, yet I find myself with just that. As I am adjusting to life back in the States, I see the life I used to live, and sometimes it shocks me. How could I have lived like that? I am so very thankful that I get the chance to really sit and examine my life and how I choose to live it. Theoretically, this should be a process we all do, however I find that we become so caught up in the daily grind that it's hard to step back and ask if how we do things even makes sense. So as I go about my daily business, I try not to simply put on the same comfortable pair of shoes, but I do a bit of introspection. Why did I do things this way? Was that working for me? How have I changed? How am I the same? What changes are good and what changes need to go? How can I take what I learned overseas and integrate it into my life here? It can be a bit stressful at times to have all these thoughts running through my head. At the end of the day however, I'm glad for the opportunity to start over. Daunting though it may be, it's a priceless opportunity, and one I want to fully take advantage of!