Packing Light

True confession #2 I am a chronic overpacker.

To me the phrase "pack light" means pack light colored clothes.

Ok, not really, but you get my point.

Anywho, I've been working on getting rid of junk, clutter, and excess; and an added bonus of that has been striving to pack light. So, a couple weeks ago when I went to visit a friend in another city over the weekend, I was EXTREMELY proud of myself for packing only a backpack and a purse!!!

Junk in the Trunk

True confession: I am a pack rat.

Shirt doesn't fit? Could be a cute gift for someone.

Tissue paper from a gift? Might recycle that.

Memento from a fun day? Might scrapbook that.

Cute gift idea? I should try that.

Fun decor article in a magazine? I might do that.

Scraps of paper? I could use those.

The problem is that with all of these shoulda, coulda, woulda's I'm amassing more stuff that I simply don't need. Moving overseas, gave me the perfect opportunity to clean house and get a fresh start. However, I just brought all of my junk with me.

Soon, I'll be moving back home and God once again is giving me the great opportunity to get rid of the junk in my trunk. I figured when I "randomly" listened to 3 podcasts in one day about ridding yourself of worldly possessions, that He just might be speaking to me. Then there was the stark reality of paying thousands of dollars to move the same stuff I came with back across the ocean. So as my roommate brilliantly outlined for me, why pay money to move your old stuff back overseas, when you can get rid of your stuff here and use the money you'd pay on shipping to pay for brand new stuff.

Hmmm, she's got a point there.

So, I'm slowly and painfully reminding myself with each book, shirt, and trinket that goes in the garbage or in the sell/giveaway pile, that God is freeing me to open my hand. As I loosen my grip, I grow in freedom and it gets easier to let things go. I'm also freeing myself to receive more of what God has for me. It's not just cleaning house for the sake of cleaning house. It's getting rid of what I don't need, to make room for the good God has for me!

I....

I saw this on someone else's blog, who borrowed it from someone else's blog; so I decided to let the borrowing continue :D

I AM … finally growing up.
I WANT… to make healthier choices.
I HAVE … much to be grateful for.
I KEEP... hope alive!
I WISH I COULD … have more self discipline.
I HATE … missing phone calls from family and friends.
I FEAR … being alone in a group.
I HEAR …. cars sloshing around on the wet roads.
I DON’T THINK … logically.
I REGRET … my procrastinating ways :(
I LOVE … to create.
I AM NOT … going to give up, no matter how much I’m tempted to.
I DANCE … when I hear a good beat to some holy rhymes.
I SING … or hum, pretty much all day every day.
I NEVER … thought I’d be living the life I am living now.
I RARELY … wear make-up.
I CRY WHEN I WATCH … anything where someone dies or says good-bye.
I AM NOT ALWAYS … focused.
I HATE THAT … it's getting darker earlier.
I’M CONFUSED ABOUT … my role in the big picture.
I NEED …more confidence .
I SHOULD … go for a walk before it starts raining again.

Bits and Pieces

Here are some random bits and pieces of my summer in photos.

Enjoy!

Learning some dance moves

Making jewelry at my favorite place......

the jewelry shop!

The only 2 pairs of shoes I wore all summer.....

My roommate shared with me a glorious recipe for a peanut butter chocolate milkshake that tastes like Reeses Pieces

...it soon became a summer must!

going, going,

GONE

A fun fruit I discovered at the market: sweet, crunchy, plums!

Oh the fun of watching movies in 3D....before I realized they recycled the glasses!

Thank You

So I've been struggling lately with the big picture of why I'm here. It's hard to put in a year and a half and realize that the work has only just begun. The word pioneer sounds so fun and exciting and adventurous, but really it's a hard lonely job. It means little fruit, hard work, hurt, pain, and often doubting if your pebble that you move even makes a difference. In the midst of this confusion, and despair God's been speaking little bits of truth to me.

Today I started looking through a photo album of people who came here nearly 20 years ago. It's always fun to see the faces of those you know now w/brown hair instead of gray, without wrinkles, and full hair lines instead of receding ones. It's also neat to see people that talk about being here for years and coming when their kids were young; seeing the stories that you've heard about captured forever by the lens.

What struck me even more this time is all the names and faces I don't know. So many people who came before me who are gone now. They may have stayed a few months, years, or decades; but I have no idea what their names or faces are. Yet they were here. The fact that they are in this photo album shows that they left a mark.

They are gone now, but not forgotten.

Oh, I may not know their name or their story; but I know the shoes that they wore. I've tried them on for a bit and they hurt! But I've also gotten to feel some of their joy too.

Looking at these photos and seeing weddings, baptisms, and births; I can see the life they lived; but even more so, I can see today the legacy they left. There is a small but thriving community here today because of the work they did to pioneer this movement.

I don't know if any of them are aware of the difference they made here. If they are still following the narrow path, or if they're even alive. If they were around, I'd love to call and encourage them that they made a difference. Their work was not in vain. The seeds they planted I get to see harvested.

Or maybe they don't need to get a phone call from me. Perhaps just the viewing of their photos and the encouragement it brings me to continue on in the work, is enough for them. Maybe in their moments of discouragement they hoped that someday the seeds they sowed would grow. Not just seeds for new believers, but seeds of tears and toil to bring hope and encouragement to others.

So to the ones who've gone before, I say thank you.

Roller Coaster Ride

My computer stopped working on Saturday morning. I shouldn't have been devastated, but I was. My computer is not my life, but it is a lot of things

My music
My movies
My way to talk with my family
How I do my job
How I manage my finances
How I chat with friends
What I use to write
How I listen to podcasts
How I keep in touch with the world

One machine shouldn't have such power in my life.

Oh but it does.

I think more than just the computer breaking it was the thought that it would stay broken. August was a brutal month. I was really hoping for September to be better. Not seeing the little blue light on my laptop that tells me it's on, sent me tumbling. I was afraid that September would be worse than August, and I'd stay in this murky pit of despair.

Fear and despair are a dangerous duo.

Just 30 minutes ago, the little blue light came back on.

I'm cautiously hopeful.

Hope - the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best

Unplugged

I went away for a day and a half this weekend with one of my roommates. I'll admit at first it was hard to be away from my precious computer (aka connection to the world around me), but then I realized how quiet and still it was.

No noisy neighbors
No music
No podcasts
No phone ringing (except for a few texts)
Nothing.
I didn't even journal (gasp).
Just silence and lots of it.

Turns out being still and quiet isn't such a bad thing. I caught up on sleep, connected with my roommate, enjoyed a lengthy quiet time, reflected on God and His greatness by looking at His creation, played tennis, hiked a mountain, and took 5 hours to eat a fabulous dinner.

I'd forgotten how good it is to really rest and enjoy a true sabbath.

Note to self, take time to unplug more often!