That Smell

If you've been around me in the last week and a half (okay, maybe the last month really) you might have noticed an unattractive scent. Don't fear, the blog isn't going there. I'm talking about the smell of burning flesh.

God has been gracious enough to peel back the veil I keep over the undesirable parts of my life and reveal to me how ugly I can be. I am having to die to myself in LARGE doses. I know it's good; but it. is. painful.

I am constantly being reminded that the world does not revolve around me. There are some things that have to get done no matter how tired, cranky, overwhelmed, sleep deprived, or frustrated I am. I still have to serve others with a smile. I still need to place the needs of others before my own. Selflessness and humility need to trump pride over and over again.

I've found myself asking how Jesus could have served so wholly while He was on this earth. He was deserving of the highest honor, yet He took the lowest position in the room. At one moment I found myself complaining to God that I felt like a slave. He replied that I'm not a slave but I need to be a servant. I find myself guilty of using the phrase servant heart carelessly, without feeling the weight of it.

I am grateful for some great examples around me that show what it means to selflessly, continuously serve others. I pray that like them I would continue to die to myself daily. So if you come close to me and something smells a little off....it's a good thing.....just my flesh dying.